When faced with difficult conversations, we often find ourselves grappling with the challenge of saying 'no' without severing important personal or professional bonds. But, with understanding, empathy, and practice, it is possible to assert oneself while also nurturing the relationship.
The Consequences of Ignored and Rejected Expressions
Even after the end of the relationship, I have been left with lingering feelings of anger and frustration. I still feel misunderstood and feel that my business partner twisted my words and used them against me. The unresolved tension and lack of resolution has left me with what is known as an 'incompletion,' which continues to affect me even after the end of the relationship.
The Costs of Withholding Truth
When we prevent ourselves from communicating our true feelings, it can become difficult to see the situation objectively. Our blocked emotions cloud our judgment and create a sense of hopelessness that makes us doubt the chances of finding a solution. We view the other person in an unfavorable light, failing to recognize the human component that intrinsically exists in all relationships. It's an intimidating process, but speaking up after having withheld our truth can be difficult, as emotions can often be overwhelming. This feeling of damming up can make it difficult to express our thoughts and feelings clearly and rationally.
The Unspoken Assumptions of Relationships
The most common way relationships can bring about dissatisfaction is that we have expectations that don't get met. We often have expectations of how we want our relationships to be, and when these expectations are not met, it can lead to suffering and dissatisfaction. For example, we might have expectations about how our colleagues should behave, contribute to the team, or what they should do in certain situations. We might also have expectations about their roles and responsibilities or how they should support and communicate with us. When our expectations are not met, it can lead to dissatisfaction and frustration.