The inner critic
The conversation ends, but you’re still going over what you should have said.
Private coaching with Chad Herst
Coaching
Bring the decision or conversation you keep circling.
You may know the conversation you’re avoiding, or the decision you keep going over. You can explain it, but when it comes time to say something or make a choice, you get caught in the same place.
You may want to be more present with the people closest to you and have energy left for life outside work. You may also want to keep pursuing work that matters to you, without feeling you constantly have to prove yourself.
I built this work because I needed it first. That experience helps me listen, but your life and your reading of it guide what we do together.
Eight private sessions · 90 minutes each · Held virtually
Sessions normally every two weeks
What happens in a session
A client was in the middle of a business crisis. When I suggested we focus on her breath, she laughed.
“I’m not sure breathing is going to fix my cash flow problem.”
“It won’t,” I said, “but we aren’t doing this to fix the cash flow. We’re doing it to interrupt the spiral.”
Later, she became irritated with herself for getting so emotional. I recognized that voice. It was the same one I used on myself whenever my gut flared, believing that if I judged myself harshly enough, I could force my body back into line.
We began noticing where she felt the overwhelm.
“Let’s just stay with that. Not to get rid of it, but to keep it company, like you would a good friend who’s having a hard moment.”
The eight sessions
Mind/Body Foundations combines eight private 90-minute sessions with a sequence of practices. We meet on Zoom, normally every two weeks. We often begin with a few minutes of breath, then work with what is most alive for you: a conversation, a reaction, or something that came up in your journaling.
Each module gives us a framework to practice with the real situation you bring. We begin by noticing what happens in your body when a familiar pattern takes over, and understanding what that response is protecting. Over time, we bring that understanding into your relationships and decisions.
Between sessions, you can read or listen to the material, reflect in the journals or with the AI-guided conversational companion, or use both. Daily guided meditation helps you continue the practice. You try things in daily life, bring back what happens, and we work with it together.
How the work unfolds
A progression we return to as your life brings new situations.
SENSE
Modules 1–5
Notice what happens in your body.
Get to know your protective responses.
Practice staying with what you feel.
STEP
Modules 6–7
Recognize your strengths and what matters to you.
Explore more options.
Practice responding in your relationships and decisions.
INTEGRATE
Module 8
Reflect on what you have learned.
Recognize what still needs attention.
Decide how to keep using the practices.
Throughout the work
The learning happens in our sessions and in your daily life.
- Practice together
- Try it in daily life
- Bring back what happens
Explore the eight modules
The first five modules develop SENSE: slowing down, noticing the parts of you that react, staying with what you feel, and meeting what is underneath with compassion. The next two develop STEP: recognizing your strengths and intentions, finding options, and practicing a response. The final module brings the work together and asks how you will carry it forward.
- Beginner’s Mind
- Kids on the Bus
- Be With
- Surfing an Emotion
- The Protector and the Wound
- Natural Strengths
- Expand Options
- The Hero’s Journey
We use this structure while responding to what your life brings. At the end, we look at what would be useful next. Some people continue on their own. Some keep working with me.
What we pay attention to
When your voice or pace changes, I ask what is happening for you. We notice what you feel in your body and explore the different things you want, including what may feel at stake in saying them aloud.
A sensation does not tell you what decision to make. Your body is not always right, and it does not replace judgment. We consider what it means alongside the facts of your situation.
When a request leaves you caught between guilt and resentment, we can look at what saying no seems to risk before you answer. The feeling may still be there. The answer might be no, or a yes you want to give.
You can disagree with me.
If what I say doesn’t fit, tell me. “No, that’s not it” is useful. I want to know what it’s like for you, even when it’s different from what I’m imagining.
You can tell me when you feel pulled to agree, go quiet, or explain something away. We can notice it together while it is happening.
What changes outside the session
One client described how she could get through a difficult interaction by becoming who the other person needed her to be. Afterward, she would hate that she hadn’t been herself.
Then she told me about a different conversation. She had received an apology, but this time she didn’t say everything was fine and move on. She took time, then explained what had hurt and why it mattered.
She said the conversation brought them closer. What mattered most to her, though, was that she liked who she was in it, even if the relationship didn’t ultimately work out.
Read her account: She didn’t have to say it was fine
At work, too
Another client described a conversation she had wanted to enter defending herself. Someone on her team thought she didn’t value their work. She found a way to hear the concern, express her appreciation, and still ask for what she needed to lead.
Other places the pattern shows up
The voice that goes quiet
You know what you want to say. Then your throat tightens, and the words don’t come.
Emptiness
You have what you wanted, and something still feels wrong. You can’t quite name what’s missing.
Read about the performance trap, the pressure to keep proving your worth.
What comes naturally to you?
We also look at what you enjoy and the strengths people who know you keep naming. Some clients have described learning to value qualities they had discounted or felt did not count at work. We explore how those strengths relate to your values and the choices you want to make.
Kids on the bus: a way of understanding protective parts
Kids On The Bus
Picture a bus. You’re the driver, and the parts of you are the kids. The critic, the caretaker, the one who goes quiet, the one who can’t stop working. Sometimes one grabs the wheel before you’ve noticed what’s happening.
One part wants to be close to someone. Another pulls back because it’s afraid of being hurt or asked for too much. Both are there, wanting different things.
We aren’t trying to throw either kid off the bus. We get curious about what each is trying to protect. What is it worried would happen if it stopped doing its job?
In clients’ own voices
Listen to people describing what brought them to the work, how they experienced it, and what they took with them.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this therapy?
No. This is a coaching engagement, not clinical treatment. The work draws on somatic awareness, mindfulness, and parts work. We explore how a pattern operates now and where you learned it, rather than diagnosing or treating mental illness.
How will I know it’s working?
We pay attention to what happens in your life. Can you notice the familiar reaction? Can you stay with what you feel and say something you would usually hold back?
The difficult feeling may still be there. You begin to have a relationship with it, instead of always trying to get rid of it or letting it decide what happens next.
For years, I believed there would be a day when I’d finally have myself sorted out. I like to think I became an adult when I stopped believing that. It took a while.
We’ll talk about what you’re noticing, including where you still feel stuck.
How often do we meet?
We meet for 90 minutes every two weeks. An occasional three-week gap is fine. There are eight sessions, with an eight-month completion window to allow for interruptions while keeping the work moving.
What do I do between sessions?
Read or listen to the module readings, reflect in the journals or with the AI-guided conversational companion, or use both. Use the guided meditation daily. The meditation starts at fifteen minutes and builds toward thirty.
Send your preparation at least two days before we meet so I can prepare. Afterward, a short follow-up reflection within 24 to 48 hours helps you stay close to what surfaced. If the preparation feels like too much, come anyway and tell me. We can decide what to focus on together.
You can text me between sessions about the practices or what you are noticing. Allow up to 48 hours for a response.
Do you work with clients outside San Francisco?
Yes. Sessions are held virtually, so clients join from wherever they are.
Who is this work for?
People who can see a pattern in their lives but keep meeting it in the moment when a decision or conversation matters. Some are founders or executives. Others come with questions about relationships, work, or what they want to begin. We can use the 30-minute introductory conversation to see whether this way of working fits.
A written reflection
An AI-guided written reflection for the pattern beneath the problem. Begin in your own time with a reflection built around Chad’s method. It isn’t a conversation with Chad.
Let’s talk about working together.
A 30-minute conversation. Bring what you’re working with and your questions. We can talk about how we might work together and what the next step could be.