energy sucker

Soul Mates...Do They Really Exist?


Recently a coaching client had been complaining about the various partners that showed up in her life.  Mostly she felt a maternal instinct for them, and more often than not, they turned out to be people she had to take care of.  She'd become jaded by the various people that'd show up on her online dating service.  She'd say, "I know this'll just turn out to be another one of those 'energy suckers,' so why bother?"

Default Relationships

Sound familiar?  It's pretty common in the dating world to keep ending up with the same partner.  Sure they have a different face and address, but after awhile thy all start looking the same.  These are what I call "default relationships."  These are the relationships that show up in our lives when we're on autopilot, when we're not really doing the work necessary to continue to grow and evolve.  We often seem to get a mirror image of what we won't look at in ourselves.  The universe is magnificent in its capacity to give us just what we need.  If we won't learn the lesson by ourselves, we're sure to learn it in relationship with another.

But in this conversation, I decided to ask her what she thought about soul mates.  She didn't have much of an opinion one way or another about whether they existed or not.  She'd never had the experience, herself.  So I described my own experience of meeting my soulmate, who happens to be my wife, now.

The Source of Aliveness

Melissa, my wife, says that she knew I was her mate right away.  It was clear as day to her right from the get go.  I, on the other hand, didn't have an inkling at all that she was my soul mate.  Part of the reason is that I'd just completed a pretty significant relationship of five years with someone and also, I just wasn't open to the experience.  Then one night after being friends for about three months, we went out.  Nothing happened.  I didn't notice anything that night, but the next morning, I felt lit up.  It was as if I had stuck my hand in a light socket and had this incredible sense of aliveness.  And I knew it was because of her.  She was the source of that beauty, that magnificence.  At that moment, I was open to the possibility that she was my soulmate.  And that was the beginning of something that continues to be quite a magical ride.

Magic Exists

After I shared this story with my client, she seemed pretty open.  And that's where the story ended for me last month. About a week ago, she came in looking and sounding noticeably different.  She said that the moment after she'd left our meeting she'd gone to her dating site and came across the face of someone she'd found attractive.  That person had noticed that she was looking at her page and contacted my client.  One thing led to another, and they ended up speaking for about eight hours that night.  What became clear to both of them that evening was that they'd come across the one that they'd been waiting for all of their lives.  That was how my client reported it.  She said that she didn't even know she was waiting, but when she met her soulmate, it clarified all sorts of struggles and confusions that she'd battled her whole life.  And it felt like the culmination and completion of a portion of her life and the birth of a new one.  Previously she'd known herself simply as an individual who happened to have partnerships with people.  Now she wanted to know herself as a member of something greater than herself.

I share this story not just because it's a good one, but because I hope--as does my client-- that her story can open the possibility that one of my readers finds their soul mate.  If you have a soulmate story that you'd like to share, I'd love to hear it.  I think these stories remind us that love can be an access point to the magic of life, and magic does exist!!!


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