If you don’t take in the full lay of the land and what you’re up against, it’s very difficult to make good decisions. And the truth is that lots is hidden from you. In spite of the superpowers that got you where you are today, you’re human; your perception is limited and skewed.
Most of us acknowledge this essential truth and we can see plainly how this applies to someone else, but when it comes to navigating our own twists and turns, and especially when we most need clarity and awareness, we’re not inclined to believe that we might be missing something important. In fact, we rarely face roadblocks with fresh eyes. Instead, our assumptions and expectations tend to obstruct us from seeing what's actually in front of us.
This is how blindsides and upsets happens. The candidate who all the experts predict to win handily loses to the upstart who has a better pulse on the people. The beloved brand falls out of favor because it focuses on past success and doesn’t pay attention to shifting customer needs. The project that seems to be on track goes off the rails because team members can’t see outside their own silos. A “happy enough” marriage falls apart when a partner meets someone who fulfills longings that have been ignored too long.
We think we know what’s what and so we don’t pay attention. Seeing clearly requires that we approach things with fresh eyes. The simple act of accepting that you’re not seeing everything will open up panoramas.
If you have a beginner’s mind, knowing that there’s always more to know, you can’t help but be curious. Your awareness will expand naturally. You’ll notice subtle signs and signals to help guide your way forward. You probably won’t develop X-ray vision or psychic powers, but you will notice what normally slips under the radar when you aren’t curious enough to pay attention.
Open your awareness and you might notice a shift in the wind that tells you a storm is coming, a clenching of the jaw that tells you something important remains unspoken or a tone of voice that sounds incongruent with what is being said.
You don’t need to be blind or asleep at the wheel to miss something important. You might be so rigidly focused on something in front of you that you tune out what’s on the periphery. On the other hand, you might be distracted by a random thought, an incoming message, a shiny object, a slight of hand that takes your attention away like an unanchored kite in the wind.
Distraction
When you are a leader, there’s more to distract you: more input, more noise and more sweet talk (feels good, but beware!). There are more demands on your attention than you can possibly serve. A connected world where we can join with people around the globe to solve problems has lots of upside. But it brings with it an unrelenting buzz of emails, text messages, social media feeds, news headlines and other notifications. And make no mistake, the devices in our pockets are designed to distract us.
Their promise seems so innocuous, so helpful—instant communication, interfaces that delight, uber convenience. Sweetly, so sweetly, we get lulled into slavishly checking and responding to our devices rather than tuning into ourselves and the world in front of us.
Is it a good thing to be able to be able to dial into your meeting from the car? Maybe. Is it a good thing to text while driving? Maybe not. Have you done it and survived? Probably. Have you split your attention between the person right in front of you and something on your phone? No judgement here; we’ve done it, too. We’re not suggesting that you chuck your phone and live on a desert island.
But to be strategic, creative and brilliant, you need to be able to recognize a distraction when you see it and choose something else. To nurture the relationships that are important for your career and personal fulfillment, you need to be able to put your phone down and direct your attention to where it matters most … life.
Noticing
The human mind is designed to notice; it’s necessary for our survival. If you don’t notice the smell of smoke, you risk getting trapped in a fire. If you don’t notice the person you know across the restaurant, you might miss an important connection. If you don’t notice your colleague’s irritation, you lose an opportunity to solve a problem.
Noticing can lead to an expanded awareness of important people, events and conditions. It can tune us into our own inner thoughts, sensations, emotions, cravings and aversions. We need to be aware if we’re going to discover the kinds of insights that lead to a better tomorrow.
Noticing can lead to distraction. This happens when our attention on something important to us (e.g. a conversation) is interrupted by a random thought, feeling or an activity and we get carried away like a rubber duck on a raging river.
Most importantly, noticing can lead us back from distraction. This happens when we become aware that our attention has wandered. Instead of zapping ourselves with a cattle prod, this is a moment for celebration. After all, we’re conscious again and no longer adrift in distraction. We get to choose where to give our attention in this next moment.
Choice
Choice is our greatest superpower. When we don’t choose to pay attention, we miss out. It’s not just a matter of productivity. To enjoy a perfect moment—a delicious lunch, an invigorating conversation, a hot date—you need to be fully present for it. If you’re thinking about deadlines, checking your phone for news or wishing you were somewhere else, you’ll miss it.
Choosing where to direct your attention will allow you to see what’s really there. You’re not always going to like what you see. Really paying attention can sometimes be uncomfortable. It may prompt you to question deeply held convictions, revise a well honed plan or take steps backward when all you want to do is push full steam ahead.
Remember that your goals are there to give you something to work towards, but they aren’t the destination. They are guideposts for your journey and they will change as you make your way. To reach the kinds of destinations that are worth arriving at, there are no maps, you’ll need to pay attention and make conscious choices all along the way.
It’s impossible to avoid getting distracted. Don’t even think about it. That’s a path to tension, contraction and frustration. Instead, aim to recognize when you have gotten lost in distraction and choose to redirect your attention. This is worth celebration and what the practice of mindfulness is all about. Slowly, gently you’ll develop and strengthen the kind of attention that makes you more present in your life.