The Drishti: Looking Out & Looking In
A friend of mine is struggling in her relationship with her boyfriend. They've been together for quite some time, but he's feeling stuck and wants to move on. He tells her that he's in love…
Earlier writing
Sharing Appreciation
The client in my previous blog has begun asking her boyfriend to tell her that he loves her. When she introduced this idea of requesting that he verbally appreciate her, he responded: "I'm…
Loving Yourself Is Bullshit: Stop Going It Alone
One of my clients feels badly that she wants her boyfriend to tell her he loves her. She thinks that she shouldn't need the acknowledgment. She says she should feel solid enough about…
Soul Mates...Do They Really Exist?
Recently a coaching client had been complaining about the various partners that showed up in her life. Mostly she felt a maternal instinct for them, and more often than not, they turned out…
Ashtanga Yoga: The Tradition and The Dogma
A few days ago, while a student was coming up from backbends, I noticed that she was breathless and grimacing. I asked her what was up. She said that her previous Ashtanga teacher…
Asking "Why?"... is the Wrong Question
I stopped to talk with a student in Mysore class today. I wanted to check in to see how she was doing, if she had any questions or needed a little support or encouragement. I thought the…
Recreating Trust Part 2: The Letdown
Have you ever met anyone who fulfilled your expectations and lived up to your intentions all the time? While it would be wonderful if you could honestly say yes, the answer is likely no. So…
Recreating Trust Part 1: The Honeymoon
Recreating Trust Part 5: Take an Inventory
Before we move forward in any relationship where trust has broken down, we need to first clean up the mess that we and others in our lives have made. The unresolved upsets will weaken the…
Recreating Trust Part 3: Storing Our Resentments
During the honeymoon, everything is so wonderful because you are not dealing with a lot of disappointments. You can be open and intimate with a high degree of trust. So on the scale of…
Recreating Trust Part 4: File Emptying
Have you ever been in a situation where somebody else said or did something, and another person reacted in a way that was dramatically disproportionate to what you said or did? Of course!…
Recreating Trust Part 6: Expressing the File and Listening
If you are going to communicate everything in your file to another person, how would you manage your communication?