Have you ever noticed a pattern in your interactions with others where you consistently misjudge a situation or miss an important detail? In the Buddhist tradition, this is referred to as "avidya," which comes from the Sanskrit roots "a-" meaning "not" and "-vidya" meaning "to see." A more accurate translation of avidya is "not seeing," rather than "ignorance." It refers to the concept of blind spots, which are areas of our understanding or perception that are incomplete or flawed.
A blind spot is a part of an individual's visual field that cannot be seen, even when using both eyes. In the context of driving, a blind spot refers to areas around a vehicle that are not visible to the driver when using the mirrors. In interpersonal relationships, a blind spot can refer to a flaw or weakness in our understanding or perception of ourselves or others.
For example, someone might have a blind spot about their tendency to be overly critical of their colleagues or subordinates, which could cause strain in their working relationships. This critical behavior may be unintentional, and the individual may not be aware of the impact it has on others. Blind spots can prevent us from seeing the full picture of an interaction and can lead to negative outcomes, such as a negative work environment or decreased morale and productivity.
We often have blind spots in our interpersonal relationships. One common blind spot is a lack of awareness of how we are interconnected and dependent on others. We often see ourselves as isolated and disconnected from others. We might sometimes feel like we’re surrounded by people, but there’s somehow a barrier or wall that’s separating us.
According to the mindfulness tradition, we often view ourselves as separate and disconnected from others, failing to recognize the ways in which we are interconnected and interdependent. This misunderstanding is like a blind spot that prevents us from seeing our connection with others and all of life. However, in rare, transcendent moments, such as during deep meditation or profound emotional or sexual intimacy, we may feel a sense of merging with others or the wider cosmos. In these moments, we feel more whole, more connected, and more alive.
Interbeing
This experience of unity or oneness with others is known in Sanskrit as shunyata, which translates as emptiness. However, the term 'emptiness' can be misleading, as it might be understood as a kind of void or nothingness. But the experience of unity, even if it is rare, suggests that emptiness is not void or empty at all but is instead filled with wonder and mystery.
This is why I prefer the Zen master, Thich Nhat Hanh’s translation of shunyata. He calls it “interbeing.”
About thirty years ago, I was looking for an English word to describe our deep interconnection with everything else. I liked the word “togetherness,” but I finally came up with the word “interbeing.” The verb “to be” can be misleading because we cannot be by ourselves alone. “To be” is always to “inter-be.” If we combine the prefix “inter” with the verb “to be,” we have a new verb, “inter-be.” To inter-be and the action of interbeing reflects reality more accurately. We inter-are with one another and with all life.
"Interbeing" refers to the interbeing of all things and the idea that everything exists in relation to everything else. It suggests that everything we experience is interconnected and dependent on other things for its existence.
For example, a person is not an isolated entity but rather is interconnected with and dependent on other people for social support, resources, and a sense of belonging. They are also dependent on the natural world for resources such as food, water, and shelter and on the social and economic systems in which they live. Emotions, too, are not isolated entities but rather are interconnected with and dependent on the thoughts, experiences, and circumstances that give rise to them. Emotions can also be interconnected and dependent on the emotions of others, as our own emotions can be influenced by the emotions of those around us.
We are not just individual selves but are made up of a complex network of relationships, experiences, and influences. As Lewis Thomas writes in his book "The Lives of a Cell: Notes of a Biology Watcher," our human bodies are "shared, rented, and occupied" by countless other tiny organisms without whom we could not move, think, or feel. In fact, there are more non-human cells in our bodies than human cells. Thomas emphasizes that no being exists in isolation on this planet and that we are all interconnected and rely on each other in a symbiotic relationship, much like the various parts of a single cell. The planet is one giant, interconnected organism.
Everything in the universe is interconnected and relies on one another to exist, including stars, clouds, flowers, trees, and people. We constantly influence one another's moods, thoughts, beliefs and values. We even affect one another's hormones. Seeing someone else in a stressful situation or hearing about their stress can also trigger the release of cortisol and adrenaline in our own bodies. When we are around someone who is experiencing strong fear, we may feel fear ourselves to some extent. This is known as emotional contagion, which is the ability to "catch" emotions from others. We are interconnected and interdependent on one another, and our interactions can influence not just our emotions and thoughts but our very biology.
In Tibetan Buddhism, the image of Indra's Net is used to symbolize our interconnection with all other beings. It is depicted as a vast net with countless jewels hanging from its threads, each jewel reflecting all the other jewels in the net. Each jewel is said to contain within it the reflection of all of the other jewels in the net, just as each of us is interconnected with and dependent upon everyone and everything else. The image of the net is used to encourage us to recognize the ways our actions and choices have an impact on every other being.
The Cost We Pay for Believing Ourselves to be Separate
When we remember our interbeing, we see that what we do and say matters. Our own well-being is deeply connected to the well-being of others. If they suffer, so do we. It’s impossible to be completely at peace knowing or sensing the suffering in the world. Interbeing helps us to understand that our own spiritual progress and well-being is interconnected and interdependent with the well-being of all other beings. We cannot truly awaken and reach our full potential unless all other beings also have the opportunity to awaken and reach their full potential.
Although we may sometimes have a sense of our interconnectedness with one another, it is easy to forget it in a culture that values and celebrates individuality. Social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok often encourage users to showcase their unique qualities and achievements, and we are often drawn to celebrities, success, wealth, and personal freedom. It can be easy to focus on our own needs and desires rather than recognizing how much our actions have on others.
When we do not recognize and value our interbeing with others and the natural world, we may prioritize our own needs and interests over those of others. This can have negative consequences, such as increased isolation and loneliness and a tendency to view others as separate or distinct from ourselves. This can lead to dehumanization and a lack of empathy, making it easier to harm or discriminate against others. Additionally, a lack of appreciation for our interdependence with the natural world can result in environmental degradation and loss of biodiversity, as well as negative impacts on the climate.
Self-Awareness
There's a profound cost to our blindness, but if we can bring attention to how we are self-centered and lack empathy or self-awareness, we can make a difference. No matter how small we are in the big scheme of things, we are each a jewel in Indra's net. Our actions matter.
One day, a man was walking along a beach covered with thousands of starfish that had washed ashore. As he walked, he came across a young boy picking up the starfish one by one and tossing them back into the ocean. The man asked the boy what he was doing. The boy replied that he was trying to save the starfish from dying on the beach. The man chuckled and told the boy that there were too many starfish. The boy couldn't make a difference. But the boy picked up another starfish and tossed it back into the water, saying, "I made a difference to that one."
It can be easy to fall into pessimism about the state of the world, particularly when we focus on individual actions or events rather than recognizing the larger interbeing of things. This is the basic avidya or lack of understanding we will be trying to wake up from in this module. We will attempt to wake up to our interbeing, recognizing that what we do, think and feel in our relationships with others matters. Whether we realize it or not, we are all connected. To break this spell, we will explore how we dissociate from the people in our lives, how we delude ourselves, and how we wake up from the fantasy of our disconnectedness.
Summary:
We carry fundamental ignorance that we are disconnected.
The Buddhist concept of emptiness suggests that we are interdependent and interconnected.
In this module, we're attempting to wake up from the ways we delude ourselves into thinking we are alone and separate.