Practice · About 3½ minutes
The straw breath
A short breathing practice you can follow in my voice.
Get familiar with the work
A story from the book, a short practice, or something I’ve been thinking about. Begin with whatever interests you.
Listen · About 16 minutes
The introduction
The den, my family, and the beginning of The Performance Trap.
Read
I’m very good at looking like I have it together
I told a podcast host I was nervous. The flutter stayed, and we kept talking.
Listen to the book
A few readings from The Performance Trap, in my voice. Press play to listen. No email signup is needed here.
Introduction
The opening of the book. About 16 minutes.
The Good Kid
Chapter Six. About 16 minutes.
Try a practice
You can use these on their own. Pause or stop whenever you want.
The straw breath
A short guided breathing practice. About three and a half minutes.
Feeling the body from the inside
Begin with fuller breaths, then move attention through the body and keep the sensations company, without trying to change them. About 10 minutes.
Steadying the mind with the breath
Use the breath to steady your attention, then let it return to its natural rhythm. About 15 minutes.
SENSE
Slowing the breath, entering the body, naming what is there, and staying with it. About 16 minutes.
STEP
A guided practice for a moment when you went quiet or small around someone. About 16 minutes.
The reader resources include more guided audio, one-page practice guides, and a printable PDF.
All the free reader resourcesRead an essay
It’s still hard for me to ask
A moment with Melissa, and the difficulty of letting someone help.
The Body Keeps the Contract
What we can notice in the body while talking through a difficult situation.
Why Rest Feels Dangerous
What comes up when there is time to stop.
What is the performance trap? Begin with the central explanation, then explore the essays above.
Bring a moment of your own
The written reflection invites you to explore one moment from your life, one question at a time. It is AI-guided, built around my method. It isn’t a conversation with me.
You can try it without an email signup. Read how your information is used before you begin.
Try the written reflectionStay in touch
I write a letter every other week, usually a story from my own life or a reflection on something I’m working through. I often include a recording if you’d rather listen.
Receive the next letter. You can read and listen here without signing up.
You can also get Chapter One read in my voice. Sign up to receive the audio link and the letter.
If you want more support
The Performance Trap Practice offers four weeks of guided practice and two private conversations with me. The founding price is $295.
Explore the four-week Practice
For sustained work together on what is happening in your life, read about private coaching.