Oftentimes the starting point is just numbness, like there is nothing there to access. We can’t feel ANY emotion. We just sense a wall or a barrier. Instead of regarding numbness as bad or something to breakthrough or overcome, if we can regard the numbness as "good news," and be with it, it can start to unravel. Usually, the numbness is there as a defense, something that we unconsciously put in place in order to defend or protect ourselves. What we are defending is the sense of vulnerability we feel when we come into direct contact with the wound. In the past, having access to the wound only left us feeling defenseless and, ultimately, hopeless. So the numbness, the ‘no-feeling’ is just protection that was previously useful.
If we apply aggression or hatred to the numbness, we may have an initial breakthrough, but ultimately, we create a sort of aversion to it, which prolongs it. One way we could apply aggression to the numbness is to yell, scream, beat a pillow, do whatever we do to get the latent energy to start moving. Most research shows that these cathartic acts only prolong the emotion. They give an initial relief, but the emotion doesn’t actually transform.
Transforming the Sacred Wound Series
This is one part in a nine-part series that explores ways to heal and transform your sacred wound. Be sure to check out the other posts!